hmmph

Mommy is letting me back on the computer FINALLY! I have a lot to tell! Daphne is still sick but its moved past the allergies. The evil doctor thought it was fungus - I always knew she was a fungus! but now they are thinking Chushing because her liver levels were high..i like liver and told mommy I wanted some! BUT NOOOO!! Only daph! she is getting retested in a month and if its not Cushings then it could be food allergies. i want a cushion but once again mommy said NO! i hate mommy!! I know all about food allergies as I am allergic to CHEESE..Mommy tried to kill me the other night when she gave me a cheeto thinking one wouldnt hurt..I showed her! I puked all over her! hehe Daph is such a drama queen! I dont like her very much right now because she is getting all the attention. Hers is even getting attention from my daddy! Hers used to hate daddy but now she is always in his lap and jumping on his back when he is playing with ME! Its all about me! Im the best and smartest and prettiest! I liked it when her hair fell out because I had the longest hair but now hers is growing back and Im not happy! Its fall here now and I get to play in the trees..mommy, no make that daddy..mommy is too lazy, planted this red stuff around my favorite tree and I keep getting in to it and digging it all out..All the great bugs are under that red stuff..Mommy calls it mulch but she is stupid..Its really munchies. Enjoy this pic of the drama queen..see how I am no where near the stupid sister but she is acting like I am killing her!


Nows im trying to kill her!

Diets, Class, and Birds

Someone said I was able to type/talk really well (annie) :) I wanted to let you know how that is possible. I went to training classes! The instructor tried to put me in the baby class but I wouldnt let her! I am a big girl! I passed the class with flying colors and the instructor even said she has NEVER seen a dachshund so well behaved! I only acted good because of the treats and I liked showing those snotty cocker spaniels that I was better than them! hehe



I have been on this green bean diet Mommy found for over two months now. I have lost some weight but I am STARVING!! I could eat a...BIRD! But Mommy says I can never eat another bird..We will see. I want to kill all birds!

This morning a bird tormented me. Mommy and Daddy were laughing so hard Mommy had to go pee! The devil bird would go to one side of the pool, chirp at me and then when I got over to that side the EVIL BIRD would fly to the other side of the pool and chirp at me some more! When I got over to THAT side the DEVIL INCARNATE would go back to the other side! This THING (it will soon be my snack) kept this up for over 20 minutes!! I was so mad! I hate birds! Soon my yummy treat you will be mine!

Im fooling them all!

So Daphne has been very sick with her allergies this week. I wanted to be nice to her but not let Mommy and Daddy know because that would ruin my reputation..hehe Im evil...So we were all laying on the couch, Mommy and Daphne on one side and me and Daddy on the other side. Daph and I eventually ended up laying together in the middle. She felt so bad so I held her while we slept..No one noticed though. Then an hour later we changed positions and I rested my paws on top of her head and gave her quick little kiss on the head but ONCE AGAIN no one saw me! hehe! No one suspects me of being nice! Then right before bed I leaned over and gave her another kiss on the nose. She just smiled. She knows I am not as bad as I pretend to be but Mommy and Daddy must NEVER find out! Once they know then they will want me to always be nice! I love to upset Mommy when she asks for a kiss and I turn my head away..It is so fun to see her frown! hehehe!



Oh! Daddy tried to drown me on Sunday!! He got the idea from my Uncle Todd. Over Memorial day weekend Uncle Todd decided to let me swim in Mommy's lounge pool (its only 2.5 feet deep) but I didnt know what to do at first! He put me in and I sunk! I quickly grabbed Mommy's arm with my paws and she cuddled her "poor wet rat" - Didnt anyone ever tell her I am a DACHSHUND! NOT A RAT! - anyways I had to swim to Daddy since he was at the edge of the pool and even when he picked me up I kept swimming! I wasnt about to drown!! Mommy kept her hand under my belly the whole long trip to Daddy! Well on Sunday he wanted to put me in what they are calling "the puppy pool." The minute he picked me up I started swimming! I hadnt even touched the water yet! The water in our pool didnt even cover my feet though. Thank goodness! I wish they had made Daphne swim too but no one can catch her! They should have tried to drown her too! I have such mean bad parents!!

My first post!! hehe

The other day I was laying on my back in daddy's lap while he was rubbing my belly..I was just about to fall asleep but I decided to gloat over being spoiled to my sister but as I looked over at her I realized she was being spoiled too! She was laying in Mommy's lap sound asleep while Mommy rubbed HER belly! I decided to just let it slide this once because Daphne has been sick with her allergies lately..I hate being nice! Last night I decided to get back at Mommy and Daphne. I yelled at them for hours! I voiced all my complaints..I told them that I was the only one who got to be spoiled! I was here first after all! Mommy had the NERVE to tell me to quit my "yapping." I dont even know what that means!! This morning however I was nice..I pottied outside and proved to Mommy that I am the best child! Daphne pottied in the house, again!! She will never learn! I love her but she has no potty training to be sooooo much older than me..hehe I have to go and chase that dern bird out of my yard again..this means I have to make Mommy (who is once AGAIN holding Daphne) get up and let me out..Lets see how many times I can do this today! hehehehehe